An Adventure to Regain My Sense of Humor

Guest Spot – Report from the Rally

Mariam reporting on Monday May 1, 2000 (see the photos on the page “Meet Mariam and Jono”)

Hi everybody

Today, Monday 1 May 2000, my dad ( Abdul Aziz Al-Accad) and (husband) Jono (Jonathan Prior)
and mechanic- David Ellison
will have left from Tower Bridge in London on the round the world Rally. We are only doing the first leg which goes from London to Beijing, and for those of you who remember us doing the Peking to Paris rally, this is an entirely different route ! Jonathan goes the first half from London to Samarkand or Tashkent, and I will take over from him and do the second half to Beijing.
This is a rally for classic and vintage cars and we have been preparing the Railton (1936) for it. BUT –
4 days ago, we realized that it would not be ready on time, and rushed around to find another suitable car. This ended up being a rover P5. I am not sure what it looks like, but to me, it will look modern. It is car no 28 and is a sort of brown or silver colour.
Not content with getting another car, we also took out the engine, and put another restored one in. Restored to MOD specs, no less !
Anyway, this is just to let you know, that if you want to look up the rally, or see the progress reports, there is a website… I have a very long winded address so I think computer people should be able to whittle it down a little ?

www.carnet.co.uk/rallyoffice/index.html

I will be posting out an update on their report every couple of days.
How I am going to get to Samarkand from Dubai is another thing. It looks as if my best choice is with
Uzbekistan Airways. Since I am nervous of flying even with Emirates Airlines, this is not a good option.
I was trying Emirates to Teheran and then by train, but Turkmenistan got in the way. ( Foreigners not allowed to cross border) And also, to Ashkabat and then across by train, but think that is worse.
With lots of bribery and bandits etc, a female alone.? Any hints on travel welcome – but have tried Turkish Airline via Istanbul – not good connections, and also can go aeroflot via Moscow. Don’t think so !
Which is why I am not sure if I take over in Samarkand or Tashkent.

Tonight they should reach a chateau hotel north of Paris.

Saturday, May 6 Mariam reports…

today rest day in Thessaloniki – they arrived very late yesterday in Greece from the boat from Italy, and were driving till midnight. Up through Pindos Mountains – long climb to 6000feet. Katara Pass was by the sounds of it, a rather rough gravel stretch which they were glad to get off. By the sounds of it, Dad was driving until it got dark, which is a scarey thought in itself. Then Jono took over.
Spoke with them this morning, and everything seems fine except guess what ? Fedex has not delivered the parcel that was meant to be there yesterday. This is the third international delivery they have screwed up on me in the last 2 weeks. My passport with all the visas is still lost in London somewhere, and I need it to get to Samarkand in 1.5 weeks ! Now they are saying – sorry – the local offices don’t work at the week-ends. Jono says their shock absorbers are creaking, and they would have liked to have changed them….. if all else fails, they will have to wait till Istanbul – if they go, they go.
Its only one day of driving to Istanbul, where they have another rest day.
There was an article of them in the Gulf news on Friday, which is our local paper. Quite fun.
On Wednesday, dad said that they got missed by lightening by 2 metres in the alps. That same day, someone else went over a mountain and totalled their car. They are ok though.
The next day in Italy, a german couple whom dad had befriended, had their steering break in their jag, and they crashed into a field. They are ok, and David has helped them tie it up with string, by the sounds of it. Will be ok until Istanbul, which is their destination anyway.
Thats all. love, M
Ps – on the flight dilemma – am going Uzbekistan Airways via Tashkent from Sharjah airport. Pray for me ! Apparently they have made it to IATA standards….

Monday May 8, Mariam reports…

they got to Istanbul ok. Fifth car to arrive – what a difference from when we were in the railton.
Jono sounds happy – they seem to be all getting on very well – apparently their car is called ‘the bazaar’ because of the arab headcloths, and my dads endless supplies of everything.
Poor david ate a scallop in in thessaloniki, and didn’t realize, and has had violent food poisoning. But rally doctor says he should be ok today.
dad is coming into his own as negociator and procurer, as he has done talking at the border to get them through quickly, found rover in greece and went there, and sourced the fedex parcel.
I have a photo coming from a Jonathan on the rally of them, and will send to you, but I don’t have it yet myself…
Ps: update on travel – can get to Samarkand but 4 days too early ! am trying to persuade Jonathan and Sue to come with me from Dubai, and do a shopping/culture thing.

Dear all – here is picture of the car – just received on net.
jono says their car has been nicknamed ‘the bazaar’ because it is piled high
with stuff and full of arabs with headdresses ! Cannot remember when last
wrote, so will keep it short. Jono is jealous of a gorgeous 1914 silver
ghost with a straight 12 engine !!! ( Railton is a straight 8 and even that
is big! )
Only other news is that jono says they are all getting on very well –
shouldn’t maybe say these things – tempting fate.
Dad was nearly run over when he got out for a special section – a morgan
lost control on a forest section and he was in the way !
must dash – love m

May 14th, Mariam reports…

they are on a rest day in Tiblisi, Georgia. There was another ‘Gulf News’ special, which was fun – headline as ;
‘National, Abdul Aziz in 6th place’ !!
When I spoke with them in Batumi, they were at a reception, hosted by the governor. Children singing and choirs etc. Today, dad says they are fine – nothing much to report. Tomorrow they head through to Turkmenistan and then across the caspian sea overnight to Baku.
I have a shopping list of things to take with me – one head gasket, 2 carburettor float needles and 2 carb floats – as used on modern landrovers. And a strip of aspirin and a strip of beta blockers for dad.

Have now booked – am flying on Friday to Turkmenistan and if we can get him a visa, will take Basel ( dads personnel manager) with me as body guard. ( !!!) Spoke with my brothers friend who does lots of wierd dealings with that part of the world, and he was not reassuring. He has arranged for some-one to collect me, show me the sights and take me shopping. 100$ per day. sounds good to me – am not arguing. Then Jono gets taken to the airport too.

A little exerpt from one of jonos faxes still in Turkey 11/5/2000 : ‘ hello monster fatty , how are you ? Had a very pleasant day today, first driving along the coast for some way, before turning off up a long river valley and eventually climbing to over 2000m on a timed hill cliimb. The road/track was awful but the scenery was spectacular – we didn’t boil over today either, having filled the radiator with ‘antifriz’ as they call it here. That was good but we still might try to put a new one in in Tblisi as we have a rest day there. otherwise the car is going fine. After that, we came down to the cast and are staying in Trabzon – which turns out to be quite an interesting ancient fortified city, with most of the city walls still standing. There is also a special mosque here, which your dad was pleased to visit. Wwe went for dinner in a restaurant called Kebabistan! It was delicious and the waiter seemed to understand arabic more or less, so as usual your dad sorted everything out.! Most people don’t seem to venture out of the hotel – imagining it to be rather dangerous I suppose. Your dad and I also visited the Hamam tonight before dinner – very pleasant and relaxing after a long day in the car ‘

May 18, Mariam reports…

Last news before I go……..
I leave tomorrow on Uzbekistan Airways for Tashkent. Not very happy about it, but been so busy, that haven’t had time to think about it. Taking Basel – dads personnel manager and have arranged a local female to take me around the shops – and to do the sights.
The boys were sailing through Georgia and had a great time – jono and dad took sulphur baths. Jono says they will do all the baths of every city !

then they arrived in Baku, to take the ship, and were told that it was an awful tub, no food, no cabins, no toilets. This meant that everyone was ferretting around for food. Dad made friends with some lebanese there at the port and they told him about a great place in town to get goodies. so dad and jono set off in the car, and got the goods. On the way back, they got caught up in major traffic, and Jono thought they would never make it on time, but apparently my dad did a really good job on navigating them back.
Then they got on board, and the boat had been revamped since the last year – luxury (of sorts) – dining room with linen tablecloths, cabins etc etc. the boys got a cabin. Only some people didn’t – of that category were the ‘Noors’, whom we had befriended on the Peking to Paris. Not to let that get them down, they went straight up to the captain who was bribed, and let one of his ‘spare’ cabins go !

Since then, the mobile phones haven’t been working anymore.
Yesterday, I had a call from dad from Turkmenistan. He sounded tired, but they were having a rest day.
Jono and David had gone to the car, to see if they could fix up a better cooling system. The car is again heating up too much on hill climbs, and my fears are for the taklamakan desert, which is my shift…
Have not been able to get in touch again with them, and said I would see them in Tashkent. Insh’Allah.
so dear friends, unless Jono keeps up the new letters, which I will explain to him, you will hear from me only when I return to Dubai from Beijing.

The last time, I don’t remember what I felt.Trepidation because of Mike, (our mechanic) when he gave us the last warnings about driving safely and the risk of serious accident etc. In the event, the railton took us little over 50 per hour……
This time, it is Uzbekistan Airways, that I will be praying for. we will talk about the driving, when we get there ! Must cut my finger nails for my usual job of spark-plug cleaning, and hopefully not necessary – oil sump cleaner. And wheeler dealer for plastic buckets, lorries and pipes.
lots love, Mariam !

Sunday, May 28, Jono reports…

Hello folks, trying to take over where mariam left off- quality of copy may not be so good am afraid.
.Unfortunately, as we lost phone contact after Baku I fear she was unable to fill in the finer details of our last few days.We stayed in some fine establishments, including a disused infirmary in turkmenistan with the unpromising name of “sanitorium Profilaktica”.This was opened especially for our benefit and accomodation consisted of springless beds and dubious bedding-many chose to sl
eep in the garden! There was one working loo in the whole place and this was to finest french cafe standard.The only prophylactic against all this was large quantities of beer and vodka(all warm) that had been conveniently shipped in for the night, however we were prodded out of bed at 6am by russian looking soldiers!.In Uzbekistan we had a run in with the police when we evaded our police escort to visit Bokhara(the city was supposed to be closed due to a visit by Vladimir Putin)we were eventually recaptured by some irate police cars but not before we had seen the main city sights!Samarkand highly recommended, though restaurants pretty dangerous.several rallyers taken ill in situ before completing meals,though our team made of sterner stuff.
Crossed in the night with mariam in Tashkent, she survived the trip on Uzbek airways but had to make up for it by a heavy shopping spree, the fruits of which I had to lug back to Dubai.

As I write, our car, fresh from the Newbury gazette(toast and envy of all-most spent fortunes on preparation!) is still going strong and lying in 3rd pos in class, having made it over the 3800m pass in the Pamir range. This last effort was too much for her though, a couple of days ago the spare wheel carrier collapsed , damagingg the diff housing. This was fixed with gunk and duct tape(this or super glue always does the trick!) however secondary problems led to failure of the crown wheel. Not many Rover crown wheels in China, esp in Taklamakan desert, but luckily the Carlton TV camera crew(filming two alchoholics in an Alvis) came by in their Landrover and agreed to dismantle an axle to help out(rally spirit etc).The Landie is now 2 wheel drive(although it’s fridge full of champagne and gentleman’s relish is still intact) and it was reported on the Rally website that ours now had blinding acceleration but a top speed of only 50mph -having spoken (finally) to mariam today she tells me this is entirely untrue and the ratio is just perfect.

Accomodation appears to have gone down hill compared to my previous description.In one hotel a couple of nights ago rally organisers were called by a perticipant whose room was slowly filling with sewage. Mariam tells me that although they were aware of this fatal flaw in the system, since they were billeted on the top floort, the physicists amongst them deciided that the matter in question could only flow downwards and a good night’s sllep was had by all. Mariam is also cursing me as I forgot to pack her boots and woolley underwear in the car and she spent a couple of very cold nights in a yurt-its always my fault……..
more to follow soon,
Jono

June 1

Herewith latest action shot from, I believe, the Turfan Oasis somewhere between the Taklamakan and Gobi deserts.As can be seen Mariam is conducting the housework operations(squashed fly removal) whilst the others look on!………….

June 15

HI everybody – we’re back ! Got into the Great wall entrance, and heard Maya shouting out from the crowds ! -had to carry on driving as we were in convoy, and when we got back, jono was also there, with cold beers and champagne !! Great ! We farmed our bags out to the film crew, so they could ride into beijing in the rrrrover !
Spent three days on air in the 5 * hotel in Beijing – I cannot tell you how good a marble bathroom or CNN seems when you have been cut off from any form of civilization for three weeks ! The two weeks of pure China were mud, dust, desert, blank empty desert scapes, coal scapes, shingle scapes. Punctuated by grim and gloomy hotels with chinese special rally buffets – pickled shredded cabbage, roast cold meat shredded and oily peanuts for breakfast. With alternate sweet but boring dumplings, hot water with last nights rice and sugar inside, and well – that was it !

The fun bit was cold beers with the boys at the end of those days. We had crazy ‘special sections’ which I never dreamt of experiencing – David at the wheel with his crazy racer drivers grin – dad bouncing around in the front as if nothing was happening – was I the only one who was terrified. Where everyone was minutes late, we were up to 9 minutes early………..these special sections were almost always reserved for the ‘special’ terrains – super dips at which we were expected to do 2kms in one minute, and had 48kms to cover, or screaming through villages with surprise holes and wonky bridges, villagers rushing out to see us – dads foot permanently on the horn – memories of snaking mountain roads where we had 17 mins to do 37 kms ???
And then, just for contrast, we had days and days of endless boredom – straight stretches of nothing

We would always be between one and two hours early, and waited at the time controls with others, swopping oranges for peanuts,stories and advice. During this time, I discovered that I had taken a nail file with me for other emergencies, and did my nails for hours on end. I had beautiful long and perfect nails like never before. That is, about 5 days after david changed the differential, and I had black nails for a while. My main job was as window cleaner – dad was petrol negociator and payer – and we sort of took turns to drive. Except when dad took offence to my back seat comments and stormed off. ( Out of the car, that is. ) He and david both suffered me graciously, otherwise. David said my driving was interesting, as I would follow outside movements readily – ‘oh look at that goat’ etc – and forget about the road. Easily done, as it deserved not much more attention, the state that it was in.
The day we had 300kms off road of road works was noteworthy not only for our suffering – and the funny part when at the beginning dad thought there was a fire when infact, it was dust coming through the front of the car in sudden clouds – no – it was interesting only because at the end of the day, we streamed past other rally cars who had found chinese jet water cleaners – and found an aircompressing machine !! At a tire shop. Opened the doors either side, and blew the dust from one side out the other side. Same to the engine. The radiator was cleaned from all angles , this helped over heating the next day, and the petrol stutterings we had temporarily improved.

There were so many silly things. dad and I got the giggles when we had the worst room one night. The chinese have no toilets in their houses, and use a general toilet. There was one in the ground floor corridor – right opposite our room. Impossible stench – not only a womens but the mens too. Air freshner was pulled out and lasted 5 minutes. Dad shut the door and he ordered me not to open the cases, and to sleep as we were – no undressing. Easy, as our window gave out onto the general car park where everyone was tinkering on their cars, but hundreds of chinese at any given time were gawping at the cars and mostly at us, cameras clicking at every single car.

We got used to being dragged by the elbow to the side of any rally car, ours or not, and be photographed with each family member in turn – from granny to the sceaming baby whom I was given. And then discovered that this one, like most others, had the bum of his trousers open, so creating an easy toilet. On my arm.

I thought at the beginning, that the wealthier rallyists were being wet and had no sense of adventure, when they attacked Philip Young and exodus in Kashgar about hotel conditions. I agree, that the shit coming up from some-ones bathroom gutter was a little unpleasant but other wise they seemed rather pathetic. At the end of those two weeks, there was not a soul amongst us who was not miserable and desperate to get out of there. And I felt like the worst of them.
Arriving in Bankok for our two day rest at the oriental was like heaven – and arriving in Dubai early yesterday morning, was just like stepping into the first world. I just hope that the saying about not knowing what you are missing if you have never had it, goes for all of those people we saw along the way. how lucky we are.

and yet – its so easy to be grumpy and ratty. On getting back, my garage opener has mysteriously ‘disappeared’ from my car. I really need to get a life.

Thanks for reading always, and sorry if my stories are not as good as Jonos – something to do with the way I drive I think….

love, Mariam! Ps – did I tell you about the shopping ? Oh wow !

"Guest Spot – Report from the Rally" was published on May 15th, 2000 and is listed in China.